Getting Over A Painful Breakup

Live is divine chaos. Embrace it. Forget the past, forgive yourself. Breath. And enjoy the ride.

I’m trying to turn my experience into something useful to others. Who hasn’t been in this mess? I’m sure it’s like a must have experience for anybody even hell it’s a worst nightmare i’ve ever had! When i was (still am) broken, i feel like i’m the most unbeloved person on earth, i’m worthless, i’m a failure. I keep blaming on myself for not being able to keep my relationship last longer. It’s really depressing. But here’s what i want to share.

1. It’s okay to be devastated at first, it’ll make you feel alive, and it’s a natural feeling too. If you don’t feel it then there must have been something wrong in your previous relationship, you didn’t love him/her that much for example. But don’t let it consume you for too long, for me a month is enough to wake up every morning in a quake of devastation.

2. It’s okay to do random act, one thing in your head when you just got this kinda news is how to get him/her back, you will think of a thousand ways. So it’s normal to think about craziest thing you could do in order to make it up for both of you. But try to think with a clear mind for a little, don’t let it cloud your conscience, don’t let yourself do something you will regret on the next day. I did it (my tip: stay sober!) and trust me it only makes it worse. So be smart.

3. Talk with family and friends, read other people experiences, listen to good songs, read good books, and you will realize you’re not the only miserable person in the universe. It’ll make you feel a little better. Me, i read Eat Pray Love, listen to Adele songs (“Never mind i’ll find someone like you, i wish nothing but the best for you”), follow @thesinglewoman on Twitter, and talked to my friends. Turned out they all have the same experience and survived, why can’t i?

4. There’s no such thing as remain friends. When she/he decided to call it off and still wanted you to be around, well one thing you will get for sure is a false hope, you will only hurt yourself more than you already are. So cut off all sort of information which is keeping you updated about him/her for a while. Maybe after you completely heal, you can try to call/email him/her again or just check out his/her Facebook/website.

5. Find a new hobby and devote yourself to it. Either having pets or taking music course, it’ll keep you busy and distract you from your own mind talking, because you cannot writing a song and be worried at the same time, right? What i do; scuba diving, surfing, learning to play guitar, writting songs, planning to have solo euro trip, and having a couple of cute hamsters; is enough to keep me occupied.

6. The last and the most important thing, keep yourself close to God, even closer. Believe that everything will be beautiful in His way. Have faith. And you will feel that heavy shit which has been pushing your heart so hard, makes you hard to breath has lifted from your chest.

I hope my 2 cents will help you feel a lil better, just think about it thoroughly. A friend of mine once said to me, when you’re hurt anything i say will mean nothing for you but when the right person has come everything else will vaporize in a zip and you will know why it never works with anyone else.

So be hurt, it will make you stronger. Be stronger, it will make you wiser. You survived, it didn’t. Let it go.

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